Lying to Yourself Again Lyrics Suicidal
When You Don't Want to Live, simply You Don't Want to Die
"I hope I don't wake upward tomorrow morning."
That is the classic idea of someone suffering from passive suicidal ideation. Information technology's not really a want to dice by suicide. It's just a way of expressing how much it hurts to be you lot.
It's non agile suicidal ideation, the kind where y'all make an actual plan to kill yourself, fifty-fifty if you never put it into practice. It's passive, meaning that you lot'd similar to be dead but don't intend on doing annihilation nearly it. It's similar asking the universe to take over and practice information technology for you.
I've certainly had passive suicidal thoughts. One time I was very stressed and depressed while coming habitation from a concern briefing. I clearly remember thinking, "Maybe the aeroplane volition go down and keep me from having to deal with all this." I certainly had no program to rush the cockpit with a box cutter or anything like that. I simply wanted my pain to exist over. I wanted the selection taken out of my hands.
Another fourth dimension I was at a business meeting in a swanky hotel that had rooms surrounding the antechamber on numerous floors. I recollect existence on the 16th floor, looking down at the atrium below with what felt like idle curiosity. Would it annoy the hotel more, I wondered, if I landed on the carpeted expanse, necessitating a thorough cleaning or total replacement? Or would they be more than upset if I landed on the marble floor portion of the foyer, making a bigger mess and potentially chipping the surface? (And was information technology just a coincidence that business meetings fabricated me contemplate my bloodshed or did they just come packed with a lot of stressful triggers?)
At neither time was I actively suicidal. I've been there in one case likewise, and this was completely different. When I was suicidal, I had actual plans and plenty of means to carry out whatsoever i of them. I'grand non going to discuss what those plans were. (The difficulty of choosing among them may have been what kept me from really doing it. Past then my low had lifted simply enough for me to get help.)
Information technology was easy plenty later to make jokes most the passively suicidal occasions and most people took them as exactly that — jokes. It was even plausible that they were jokes. I used to talk about jumping out a window, calculation that it wouldn't work considering I lived in a basement. It was only much later that I thought well-nigh information technology and realized that I needed aid fifty-fifty on those occasions. Later all, isn't pain the source of much humor and the downfall of many comedians?
Passive suicidal ideation is request yourself "what if?" What if my troubles were over? What if my pain was gone? What if all I had to do to accomplish this was to allow that bus hit me instead of stepping out of the way?
The important matter to remember is that someone passively suicidal is in bang-up psychological hurting and wants not to feel that manner anymore. In that respect, it'south similar to cut or other self-harm. And like those acts, it doesn't end the pain at all. Information technology may be a temporary escape valve, but information technology's not a solution.
Passive suicidal ideation is certainly a bad affair and an first-class reason to see your psychiatrist or therapist every bit shortly every bit possible. If y'all hear a friend or loved 1 talking this way, encourage them as strongly as possible to seek assist. Let a professional decide if the person has passive suicidal ideation or active suicidal ideation. Information technology is entirely possible that passive suicidal ideation will pb to the more active kind and fifty-fifty to death if it is not dealt with.
Source: https://medium.com/invisible-illness/when-you-dont-want-to-live-but-you-don-t-want-to-die-f96cbf813ed4
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